Ironically, always doing this reduces focus on the other party’ s viewpoint further diminishing their chances of having interest in the individual’ s viewpoint. One has to learn to view the situation from the other party’ s side so as to know how to better explain their views. Should one experience difficulty in understanding the other person’ s views, it would be better to ask more questions until the point gets home (Knox & Schacht, p124). When they feel heard, individuals are more likely to listen. When is criticized, it becomes very easy to defensive and feel like the other party is wrong.
It is not very easy to keep listening to someone criticizing you, especially if the criticism is exaggerated and colored by emotions of the other party. It is vital that one listens to the other party’ s pain and reply by empathizing with their feelings. The criticism may not sound good to the ear but there could be some truth in it. It is important to seek the truth in their words as this may turn out to be very valuable are those who view taking personal responsibility as a sign of weakness but the contrary is true.
Realizing personal responsibility is in actual a strength. Effective communication means admitting one mistake and apologizing accordingly. In most conflicts, both parties share some responsibility and take strength. Admitting one’ s share of responsibility diffuses tension, sets a good example and shows maturity. In addition, in many instances, it inspires the other party to do likewise, resulting in both parties being closer to attaining mutual understanding and finding a solution to the conflict. People to use accusatory statements in trying to seek the origin of the issue at hand.
One or more likely to get the other party listening by using ‘ I’ statements rather than ‘ you’ statements as they sound less defensive and accusatory. For instance, saying that “ you did this and that” sounds more accusing than “ I do not like it when this and that happens” .
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