It was just not logical at all but the look on the family members’ faces made me envious of my Christian friend. There was enormous peace and contentment in them that I started to want, like a hungry child wanting to eat all he can.
After fourteen long years of going to church, I realized I could make better use of my time than going to the boring church sessions. I thought I was enjoying life to the fullest after making that decision and my life seemed pretty thrilling. My family prayed for my enlightenment a lot and I believe that that confusion after the funeral was a much-needed experience for me to understand being enlightened. I now realize that for me to understand what is white, I must know black; to understand joy, I must experience sorrow; to be found, I have to recognize that I am lost; to be saved, I have to see that I am in great danger. When I die, I would like my family and friends to rejoice because I am going to a better place and not because they feel that there has been a great burden taken away from them. I now understand the essence of life, of suffering and pain, having that peaceful assurance that someday, I will be welcomed to an eternal glory by my very Savior, Jesus Christ.
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