Now as I evoke memories, I never fantasized myself putting on a spectacle and playing another character before the mirror. It was nothing but inherent to me; I was my guileless self and there was no stopping it. I envied girls, who were allowed, and, moreover, had to dress up to school, with all of their tiny skirts and dresses, their long hair, and manicured nails. I felt I had to look like they did, but, again, I had to put on my jeans, T-shirts, and sweaters. In an hamlet of life that is strictly black or white, I was a flaming hot pink.
High school emulated traditional notions in Kuwait, a monocultural country where nothing was out of the ordinary, but those restrictions have never influenced me. This led to my rejection by my peers at school, and times became unbearable. I did not get beat up or something like that, but others would make fun of my appearance and gestures I made. Even though I dressed up as a boy, people thought I was a girl. confused instances of substitute teachers who were not sure what I was.
I sparked confusion in my classmate’ s minds, strenuously studying me in an endeavor for scrutiny. Some students came up to me, asking mockingly whether I was a boy, or a girl. Those harassments made me really withdrawn, but in spite of great odds, I emerged as the inamorata I always aspired to be. I celebrate my difference; it is an explosive on a balanced scale. Every morning I wake up with the thought that it will be good day, as I don't have to hide any more.
I managed to perform my coming out, to confess my identity both to my surroundings, and to myself. Being an individual does amazing things for me. Once I became an outsider, I created my own path, and creativity came from that. Nowadays I probably see things that other people do not - it made me more compassionate. Now I know that people sometimes are not what they look like, and that to know a person you have to look his/her social mask.
But the main thing my experience taught me was that there was nothing more valuable than an opportunity to be myself. I feel I would never deny anyone this opportunity.
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